Neuticles, Sagging and Choices oh my!

While I can be a little morbid at times, please forgive me for the following musings...

Last night my friend Jim and I began musing about what it might be like if we lost a testicle.....would we leave it as is? Would we get one of them "Neuticles" and have a fake ball rolling around in there? What would work best aesthetically or texturally?

I deduced it would be so much fun going shopping for a fake ball, that alone might be worth the price of admission to the "one ball gang." I imagine them bringing in a bunch of sets of satin pillows with small rubber based testicles on them, and instructing me to "pick them up, throw them like a spaceball, squeeze them, hell even roll one around in your mouth! You need to find the right model for you!" I'd first delicately choose the medium sized one and move from one to the other like goldilocks till I found just the right one... What exactly would a stesticle salesman look like anyway? Would he resemble a car or carpet salesman.... a little swarthy and untrustworthy? Or would he be sweet and gentle, bringing me hot chocolate and a blanket to warm myself while they parade the balls in front of me like some bad shopping montage? I hope its more like the latter.

I also began to think "hey, while they're in there, why not get three? All good design comes in threes?" You could move them around on a table top playing them like the cup hiding game and make people guess where the penny is now... ok, that might hurt if someone gets overzealous and slaps the table. Ouch.

Not sure why we were rambling about this, but that's just how we...ahem....roll.