Thursday, July 31, 2008

What?! The Purple and teal 80's bitch cream puff dress?

You judges are crazy! Y'all had some beer goggles on or something cause that thing was fugly! Bad day for the Project Runway!

Zombie Haiku Thursday

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Never Forget 7.29.08


A moment of silence for all those poor bottles and cans that gave their lives today in the tragic Quake of 2008!

You're listening to 5.8 the Quake...

smooth jams all day long baby...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Quick little updates

So things seem to be going ok..

I'm still very strapped for cash lately especially with the big bad ticket on Friday and a constant barrage of bills, but I soldier on.

Work is fun. I'm really enjoying the job, and really can't wait to see what we're creating on the big screen. I haven't almost run over anyone famous in a golf cart or anything yet so I'll have to keep you posted on any more of zack's big faux pas with celebrities. (Like the time I informed Oliver Stone he needed to have a visitor's pass to be walzing around the art department...and then kindly escorted him to production... he wasn't the director on the movie I was on but still, oops)

Burning Man is coming up fast and I'm a little nervous. Things are really tight this year and the plans of going in the RV died hard and fast this past week. It appears I'll be roughing it again this year tenting it like many other brave souls. I don't mind, its a bit more work, but its going to be a blast. My friend Disco Mark and I are traveling together this year and he's new to the tenting side of life, but I think he'll be fine. It builds character...and dust. I'll be borrowing a friend's tent and some extra equipment so most provisions are taken care of, but now we have to see if we'll still want to do our own shade structure. Dog and Snowball said we can probably share theirs but it would be nice to not impose on them too much. We'll see what we figure out. I am thinking by the end of this upcoming weekend we'll know more of which direction we're headed. It might just be a little too much set up for lil' ole us... we are dainty and all... My art piece is coming along a tad too slowly so I'll need to step up the pace on that this weekend and maybe stay at work late a few nights to print off some stuff that normally could cost an arm and a leg at Kinko's.

As far as the rest of my life... its pretty even keeled... knock on wood.

Restless Leg Syndrome



She just can't help it.

Keep on Runnin'



Makes me smile. Thanks to Armando for the tip off.

Creepy Pedophile singer Monday!


Is there anyone in the audience that will stop this man?! He's gonna eat that kid alive!

Friday, July 25, 2008

A moment of silence for Marcel Marceau

Spam email poetry from this afternoon....

Wire puller to lincoln: he was one of the shrewdest that he
could do, or learn to do, in this seaport. Window, all blurred
with the clinging shreds of that ye shall have no worship
to have ado with and had a few weeks before read them a
draft proclamation rooms, divided into twentyfour sets,
making a agreed on between commissioners to be appointed
men. Not unlike their western sisters, they always under
abe whistled involuntarily. I should think two she thought
she had. Rather a smart wedding at as angels, it makes him
respect a very large proportion or pottage, some saffron
and beaten cloves put and he had met her again and lost
her! In hell, now all the paths are gravelled and raked.
i shall which lie hid in their afterwards.

Here piggy piggy Friday...

Got pulled over this morning... damnit. I was in the wrong. I had pulled into the turn lane about 2 car length too soon... but I had at least waited longer than the other jerk wads who had been racing down that lane for a good 2 blocks before and didn't get pulled over. Fucking Lame. Aw well, happy friday. At least the video below made me laugh out loud.

Otherwise, I'm ok. I'm in a bad mood right now so I'll save an update for later today or this weekend as to how "Malice Fin Underhand" and plans for Burning Man are going...

WTF Friday... Yo Gabba Gabba Edition



Oh........my...........god.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Quote of the day...

"Why don't you come on over and dab my meat sweats while I lay and wheeze..."

R.I.P. Estelle Getty


We'll miss ya!

Tutti-Frutti Tuesday



Amazing and phallic number from "The Gang's All Here"

Monday, July 21, 2008

Free Haircut



Now lets hope this doesn't catch on too much or next we'll be hearing of circumcisions done this way!

Retarded but fun

So the screening went well. We had a smaller crowd than usual, but the typical horrifying fare hit the screen and some serious fun ensued. If you missed the show, you missed out. I have to say, The Hottie & The Nottie was perfectly terrible and ending the night with "Polyester" was sheer genius. I think i'm officially "tarded out."

Thursday, July 17, 2008

In the annals of "Its time to give up the schtick"

I just heard a way past middle aged man at work talking on his phone and use the phrases "jail bait" and "You gonna hit that?" in the same sentence.... just ewwww

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Project Runway Time: Here we gay again!

Ok, so as is the fashion I will make my predictions of who these contestants are and how they will act, based solely on their name and their photo from the bravo website... Last year was surprisingly accurate... let's see how I do this time around.

Blayne: Ewww... to quote Pretty In Pink... "What kind of name is Blaine?!" Close enough.. I'm already kinda gagging and its not just your flip flops. I sense we have the new heir to the McMeshHat throne!

Daniel: You seem like an annoying know-it all... with bad hair.. Props on the wrist cuff though.

Emily: Oh Emily you're just so quirky! First the asymetrical hair, now the crazy hemlines, how can we keep up with your trendy self?! Oh yeah... open a hipster magazine... wait is this the magazine you subscribe to? Have you just been regurgitating all this stuff?! Bad girl Emily.. bad! We still like you even though you're kinda catty.

Jennifer: Hi, who are you? The auditions for What Not to Wear are down the hall... oh you dropped your pearls and daddy's credit card... there ya go. Run along. (Shame she was the first to go)

Jerell: What. Are you. Wearing? Honestly I think you'll be the guy I enjoy and pull for till you have to make a dresss out of the lint in the dryers and candle wax and get sent home.

Jerry: Hrmmm, you're probably gonna be that annoying picky gay guy I end up hating more every week.

Joe: You're the pig headed dick most likely to be stabbed in the eye by me if seen in public, but one of your creations will probably impress me and that'll piss me off.

Keith: Hello hotness! Me likey! Even though you're sportin' the flip flops too... but you can wear em wherever you want. And you'll probably be one of the better designers, just a hunch.

Kelli: You're the kinda trashy girl with funky shit that mainly has the 70's butt-rock revolution and the 80's as its prime influence... but I'm surprisingly gonna like it.

Kenley: You're that grown up girl who used to wear stirrup pants every day and then someone told her she looked cool when she dressed up as Betty Page one halloween.... so it stuck! This is how you now look this way, which is ok by me... just wish your designs were gonna be more creative after your initial burst of creativity runs out and you get kicked off mid-way through the season.

Korto: Don't hurt me... you look like you're gonna fucking kill me with those creepy eyes and look of disappointment on your face. I think I'll see some cool shit come out of your work but you'll get bogged down by all the annoying bitches and gay guys distracting you...then at some point...poof... where'd she go?

Leanne: You're the kinda crazy bitch of the season, I can smell it! You're like mixing a bedazzled orange plaid velvet jacket with Birkenstocks and a Bright red Valentino strapless gown.... it can be done...its kinda sickeningly fun but after a while you just look like the crazy lady left in the gay bar after the lights come up and everyone is gone.

Stella: Wait, that's a dude right?... no way that's a chick? Ok, well Stella I bet I'm gonna like you. If I were a chick I'd totally be you. Let's do lunch. You're gonna take no shit and take no prisoners...I see hair flying... You'll end up in the top 3.

Suede: You're kinda cute... Now the toss up, will I like your work? hrmmm tough to say. I have a feeling you're gonna be loosey goosey unpredicatable in a bad way for a while.

Terri: Wait, that's a chick? No Way! ok, well Terri You. Scare. Me. Your hair is gonna take me into its clutches and smother me alive in that photo... but I have a feeling you'll grow on me and I'll end up being a big fan! You'll win it all!

Wesley: You're the annoying prig/ priss that I won't like much. You'll hopefully cheat and get kicked out like your predecessors have but I have a feeling you'll be around to annoy me wholeheartedly for some time...

So there it is folks.. now we just have to wait and see how it all turns out.. I'm on pins and needles!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Backyard Screening Time! "Tard-Sploitation!"



Its that time again ladies and gentlemen, the boys of "Gay Gardens" invite you to another fun filled screening night at our house under the stars! This time it is really "Special." We're taking a no holds barred look at the film industry's love of playing "retarded" in every sense of the word. Its time to hang out, drink up, strap on a padded helmet and ride the short bus cause we're giving you a full dose of "TARD-SPLOITATION!"

Our Feature Presentations:

Riding The Bus With My Sister (2005)

"Rachel Simon rode buses for a year with her sister Beth, who has developmental disabilities--the journey changed their lives forever..." Come see the touching moment when Rosie O'Donnell channeled Animal from the Muppets to play a retarded person. You can see the horror in Andie MacDowell's eyes as she realizes she is stuck in the most challenging and terrible roll since "Green Card" as Rosie's Sister Rachel. If anyone would have handed her something sharp on set it either would have gone into Rosie's brain or her own jugular. This is a can't miss movie event!

Then:

A movie montage experience of some of your favorite actors playing "retarded" and laughing all the way to the bank! See hilarious clips from such great flops as Juliet Lewis in "The Other Sister," Cuba Gooding Jr. as "Radio," Sean Penn tarding it up in "I Am Sam," and the list goes on and on...

And to finish:

The Hottie & The Nottie (2008)

With all the backlash against celebutard Paris Hilton, this little film tanked big time this past Spring with only $27,966 on its opening weekend, with each theater averaging $249. The plot is your basic ugly duckling tale where the hot girl has an ugly best friend who's personality wins over the hot guy more than her looks and he can finally see the beauty inside. Join us as we have a few cocktails and laugh at the "acting" of our most famous retard ever: PARIS HILTON. Bring a gas mask and anything you can to protect yourself from the hideous STD cocktail that she is.


Again, all who wish to attend are welcome. If you want to come and need directions etc. let me know! As always, films are subject to change.

When: Saturday, July 19th doors are open after 7:30 and our features should begin around 8pm.
Where: Gay Gardens... Come right on through the gate, we're in the backyard. Write or call me for directions...
Who: You and your friends are all welcome. The more the merrier at these events.
How: Please bring a lawn chair if you have one, some booze or whatever you want to drink, maybe a snack and certainly a sense of humor. We look forward to seeing you all!

"Toilet seat assistance in row number one, thank you!" -Riding The Bus With My Sister

Amazing Quote Of The Day

"So I told himz, he aint gettin' no firecrackers! Aint nothing comin' outta my pocketbook and goin' up in smoke! He can sit down, shut up and enjoy dem fine ass ribs and slaw we havin' and he gonna like it!" - overheard while waiting for my tires to be replaced... amazing