What?! The Purple and teal 80's bitch cream puff dress?

You judges are crazy! Y'all had some beer goggles on or something cause that thing was fugly! Bad day for the Project Runway!

Project Runway Time: Here we gay again!

Ok, so as is the fashion I will make my predictions of who these contestants are and how they will act, based solely on their name and their photo from the bravo website... Last year was surprisingly accurate... let's see how I do this time around.

Blayne: Ewww... to quote Pretty In Pink... "What kind of name is Blaine?!" Close enough.. I'm already kinda gagging and its not just your flip flops. I sense we have the new heir to the McMeshHat throne!

Daniel: You seem like an annoying know-it all... with bad hair.. Props on the wrist cuff though.

Emily: Oh Emily you're just so quirky! First the asymetrical hair, now the crazy hemlines, how can we keep up with your trendy self?! Oh yeah... open a hipster magazine... wait is this the magazine you subscribe to? Have you just been regurgitating all this stuff?! Bad girl Emily.. bad! We still like you even though you're kinda catty.

Jennifer: Hi, who are you? The auditions for What Not to Wear are down the hall... oh you dropped your pearls and daddy's credit card... there ya go. Run along. (Shame she was the first to go)

Jerell: What. Are you. Wearing? Honestly I think you'll be the guy I enjoy and pull for till you have to make a dresss out of the lint in the dryers and candle wax and get sent home.

Jerry: Hrmmm, you're probably gonna be that annoying picky gay guy I end up hating more every week.

Joe: You're the pig headed dick most likely to be stabbed in the eye by me if seen in public, but one of your creations will probably impress me and that'll piss me off.

Keith: Hello hotness! Me likey! Even though you're sportin' the flip flops too... but you can wear em wherever you want. And you'll probably be one of the better designers, just a hunch.

Kelli: You're the kinda trashy girl with funky shit that mainly has the 70's butt-rock revolution and the 80's as its prime influence... but I'm surprisingly gonna like it.

Kenley: You're that grown up girl who used to wear stirrup pants every day and then someone told her she looked cool when she dressed up as Betty Page one halloween.... so it stuck! This is how you now look this way, which is ok by me... just wish your designs were gonna be more creative after your initial burst of creativity runs out and you get kicked off mid-way through the season.

Korto: Don't hurt me... you look like you're gonna fucking kill me with those creepy eyes and look of disappointment on your face. I think I'll see some cool shit come out of your work but you'll get bogged down by all the annoying bitches and gay guys distracting you...then at some point...poof... where'd she go?

Leanne: You're the kinda crazy bitch of the season, I can smell it! You're like mixing a bedazzled orange plaid velvet jacket with Birkenstocks and a Bright red Valentino strapless gown.... it can be done...its kinda sickeningly fun but after a while you just look like the crazy lady left in the gay bar after the lights come up and everyone is gone.

Stella: Wait, that's a dude right?... no way that's a chick? Ok, well Stella I bet I'm gonna like you. If I were a chick I'd totally be you. Let's do lunch. You're gonna take no shit and take no prisoners...I see hair flying... You'll end up in the top 3.

Suede: You're kinda cute... Now the toss up, will I like your work? hrmmm tough to say. I have a feeling you're gonna be loosey goosey unpredicatable in a bad way for a while.

Terri: Wait, that's a chick? No Way! ok, well Terri You. Scare. Me. Your hair is gonna take me into its clutches and smother me alive in that photo... but I have a feeling you'll grow on me and I'll end up being a big fan! You'll win it all!

Wesley: You're the annoying prig/ priss that I won't like much. You'll hopefully cheat and get kicked out like your predecessors have but I have a feeling you'll be around to annoy me wholeheartedly for some time...

So there it is folks.. now we just have to wait and see how it all turns out.. I'm on pins and needles!

My first and last impressions...

Ok so lets see how good I am with first impressions...

With the cast of Project Runway, I had looked only at their photos and told my good friend Lauren my impression of them based only on their looks and my past experience with the show. The following includes my original thoughts and how I feel now that we are down to the final three...er 4...er whatever..

Then: Chris is probably surprisingly the biggest fag
Now: Yup, but in a great way. He's no faggot like Christian. (That's a whole different league of gay) He's a sweet talented guy and I hope he kicks Rami's ass when it comes to who shows at Bryant Park

Then: Jillian has to be a bitch...she just seems that way
Now: Nope, a little stuffy but certainly not a bitch. I really like her attention to detail and ability to really tailor an outfit to the body.

Then: I bet I'll really like Carmen
Now: I did, it was sad to see her go but lets be honest.... she deserved it that week.

Then: Kevin is just sexy... yum!
Now: God yes! Still true. Wait, did he design something too? Sorry, I was distracted.

Then: Kit is probably the least talented but talks the biggest talk
Now: I disagree. She certainly wasn't the least talented. She had a great funky style I wish coulda stayed.....if it weren't for Mr. Crying pants she'd still be on.

Then: Sweet p?.....gimme a break old lady
Now: Ok, still a bad name, but she really has a flair for nice cocktail dresses! I dig her now. Sorry to see ya go, but it was time darlin'

Then: I bet Simone will cry alot
Now: Yup, and was gone fast.

Then: Victorya is probably the sweet one that everyone should be careful of cause she can play you and splay you in a matter of seconds
Now: Yup, that bitch was cold and stuck up. Can't wait to see you get made fun of at the reunion.

Then: Steven seems forgettable....he'll be kicked off first if Rami's arrogance doesn't get him first.
Now: Yup....Steven who? Oh mr creepy quiet voice.... or was that Marion?

Then: Simone and Jillian will end up in a big fight where they pull each others hair arguing about a sewing machine
Now: Wish I woulda seen that. Anytime when Jillian gets more animated than a smile I'm surprised. Still, I am excited to see her Bryant Park collection.

Then: Jack and Marion are both really full of themselves, I bet they will probably end up sleeping with each other
Now: Yup and yup! I'm guessing that one came true.

Then: Christian is the one I want to hate on first glance but I'll probably end up liking his tasteful, well sewn designs
Now: God did I call that one or what?

Then: oh and Ricky....fix that gap in your teeth dude, I can't stare at that for weeks upon weeks
Now: Yup!

Then: Elisa, you will win it all, and I'll be happy for your funky self
Now: I was so wrong, but she was a ball of crazy fun there for a while!

All in all I wasn't that far off. I'll have to try the same with Top Chef....

Ask and you shall receive!

The judges finally Auf'd the annoying crybaby Ricky from Project Runway.... jeesh, took ya long enough. A collective cheer from my world and a collective sigh from the Mesh Hat contingent. This is shaping up to be an interesting finale.

Damn you Menudo McMesh Hat!

You may have escaped this time, but you'll cry again.... perhaps next week will bring you down.

Cross your fingers...

I'm guessing tonight is when Menudo McMeshhat gets the boot from Project Runway. I would entitle the episode: "No more tears."

Carmen like Electra, Webber like that crappy over-inflated British theatre mogul

Carmen Webber has left the building on Project Runway in week three, and good riddance. If you asked me, half that group shoulda been tossed out for their complete lack of creativity and know how when it comes to making men's clothing. I had waited for ages for Project Runway to brave the world of men's fashion for a challenege, and what did we get? We get models with terribly sewn crotches, half finished garmens, a shirt that resembled a reject from 7th grade home economics class, and one model with swath of fabric "Where the shirt should be, but I ran out of time." Guys..... are you kidding me? You can whip out a three piece look for a woman in under 6 hours complete with details, accessories and little scarf you threw together, but you can't make a pair of men's pants? The fat guy had it right when he said "Pants aren't that hard, its just like sewing two long sleeves together." I think this challenge showed us just how much talent you THINK you have when it comes to sewing... Even the queeny muscle bound Jack guy had to rip apart his shorts to make a pattern for half of you to follow! Jesus, its not like you are having to flatline a bias cut velvet gown with silk georgette on the inside, that my friend would be very difficult. Get your heads in the game, Ricky stop crying cause you're next, Christian quit being your inflated self and actually make something as good as you say you can, Elisa keep scaring me in that spit on fabric can't touch or look at a male model way... I kind of like it, and the rest of you just get to work.

Guten tag!

The new season of Project Runway starts November 14th, and already the speculations have begun. Based purely on their photos and a partial scan of their bios, I wrote the following bitchy comments to my friend Lauren about the new contestants:

-Chris is probably surprisingly the biggest fag
-Jillian has to be a bitch...she just seems that way
-I bet I'll really like Carmen
-Kevin is just sexy... yum!
-Kit is probably the least talented but talks the biggest talk
-Sweet p?.....gimme a break old lady
-I bet Simone will cry alot
-Victorya is probably the sweet one that everyone should be careful of cause she can play you and splay you in a matter of seconds
-Steven seems forgettable....he'll be kicked off first if Rami's arrogance doesn't get him first.
-Simone and Jillian will end up in a big fight where they pull each others hair arguing about a sewing machine
-Jack and Marion are both really full of themselves, I bet they will probably end up sleeping with each other
-Christian is the one I want to hate on first glance but I'll probably end up liking his tasteful, well sewn designs
-oh and Ricky....fix that gap in your teeth dude, I can't stare at that for weeks upon weeks
-Elisa, you will win it all, and I'll be happy for your funky self

We'll see how many of these first impressions are accurate. (I'm sure I'm way off the mark)