Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Project Runway Time: Here we gay again!

Ok, so as is the fashion I will make my predictions of who these contestants are and how they will act, based solely on their name and their photo from the bravo website... Last year was surprisingly accurate... let's see how I do this time around.

Blayne: Ewww... to quote Pretty In Pink... "What kind of name is Blaine?!" Close enough.. I'm already kinda gagging and its not just your flip flops. I sense we have the new heir to the McMeshHat throne!

Daniel: You seem like an annoying know-it all... with bad hair.. Props on the wrist cuff though.

Emily: Oh Emily you're just so quirky! First the asymetrical hair, now the crazy hemlines, how can we keep up with your trendy self?! Oh yeah... open a hipster magazine... wait is this the magazine you subscribe to? Have you just been regurgitating all this stuff?! Bad girl Emily.. bad! We still like you even though you're kinda catty.

Jennifer: Hi, who are you? The auditions for What Not to Wear are down the hall... oh you dropped your pearls and daddy's credit card... there ya go. Run along. (Shame she was the first to go)

Jerell: What. Are you. Wearing? Honestly I think you'll be the guy I enjoy and pull for till you have to make a dresss out of the lint in the dryers and candle wax and get sent home.

Jerry: Hrmmm, you're probably gonna be that annoying picky gay guy I end up hating more every week.

Joe: You're the pig headed dick most likely to be stabbed in the eye by me if seen in public, but one of your creations will probably impress me and that'll piss me off.

Keith: Hello hotness! Me likey! Even though you're sportin' the flip flops too... but you can wear em wherever you want. And you'll probably be one of the better designers, just a hunch.

Kelli: You're the kinda trashy girl with funky shit that mainly has the 70's butt-rock revolution and the 80's as its prime influence... but I'm surprisingly gonna like it.

Kenley: You're that grown up girl who used to wear stirrup pants every day and then someone told her she looked cool when she dressed up as Betty Page one halloween.... so it stuck! This is how you now look this way, which is ok by me... just wish your designs were gonna be more creative after your initial burst of creativity runs out and you get kicked off mid-way through the season.

Korto: Don't hurt me... you look like you're gonna fucking kill me with those creepy eyes and look of disappointment on your face. I think I'll see some cool shit come out of your work but you'll get bogged down by all the annoying bitches and gay guys distracting you...then at some point...poof... where'd she go?

Leanne: You're the kinda crazy bitch of the season, I can smell it! You're like mixing a bedazzled orange plaid velvet jacket with Birkenstocks and a Bright red Valentino strapless gown.... it can be done...its kinda sickeningly fun but after a while you just look like the crazy lady left in the gay bar after the lights come up and everyone is gone.

Stella: Wait, that's a dude right?... no way that's a chick? Ok, well Stella I bet I'm gonna like you. If I were a chick I'd totally be you. Let's do lunch. You're gonna take no shit and take no prisoners...I see hair flying... You'll end up in the top 3.

Suede: You're kinda cute... Now the toss up, will I like your work? hrmmm tough to say. I have a feeling you're gonna be loosey goosey unpredicatable in a bad way for a while.

Terri: Wait, that's a chick? No Way! ok, well Terri You. Scare. Me. Your hair is gonna take me into its clutches and smother me alive in that photo... but I have a feeling you'll grow on me and I'll end up being a big fan! You'll win it all!

Wesley: You're the annoying prig/ priss that I won't like much. You'll hopefully cheat and get kicked out like your predecessors have but I have a feeling you'll be around to annoy me wholeheartedly for some time...

So there it is folks.. now we just have to wait and see how it all turns out.. I'm on pins and needles!

1 comment:

Mandi said...

since im on the east coast I just watched Project Runway and you are wrong on the first challenge... Jennifer was not the first out.. so sorry.. much love!!