Friday, April 27, 2007

Oh Seattle...hehehe

Ahhh sometimes I miss this kind of spirit in a city...just plain ol' fun!

4/20 Downhill office chair races in Seattle:

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The creepy Spider-walk from Exorcist...and a dog

hehehehehe

Pretty Pretty

It's official, I'm not the fairest of them all....there's always this inbred albino....

Movin' on up!


It's time to finish packin' it all up and packin' it all in! Anyone know of any good movers, so my car won't look like this...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Oh Bjork...

Sometimes I just love you you crazy freaky deeky chick......(insert bjork noise/wails here and the words: Penguin, telephone, bandaid mustard.....)

Raise your arms up and rejoice!

Ok... this paraying mantis is either really gay...or....


Very Spiritual?

"moving: the saga" closin' in on the finish line

I can almost taste it.... rounding the corner and I can see the finish line, but there is just so much energy to expend before I get there! Tomorrow, we sign the lease. I'm releived and a little nervous. It's like getting on a new rollercoaster for the first time. You know basically what to expect, but there's still the fear and exhilaration that is all new, and all its own. I am releived that we got the place we did, some of the other options were far from fitting for what we were looking for. I think we had to see what sucked to see how perfect this place basically is. Now it is on to the other things at hand: Packing, which has begun and shows me just how much crap I have to pack still.... Telling the roommates I'm moving out, that will happen once I have the keys... and finding someone to move this heavy big shit, got some quotes going but still getting nervous as I hope to have it all moved by not this, but next Friday night. I don't wanna be in my current place a day longer than I have to. Here's to hoping its an affordable move and a happy experience all around.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Product Placement

Ok, I worked on this film, and this is frickin hilarious! Take a look and see what the trailer for Spidey-3 would have looked like if.... wait isn't this kind of what it's gonna look like...

Ladies and Gentlemen, take notes.... this is how you do product placement, it's almost unnoticable!

"Shoot me in my mouth....

Fill me up down south..."

Finally a piece of ass...er country... that the republicans might have no issue with when she's singing about the war. What a trooper, she's offering it all up. hehehehe

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sandy Belle...

Fun photo Friday! #5





A chandelier made of Gummy bears.



A chandelier made of penis pumps...perhaps a useful design idea if I move...



It's not final till we get the keys, but that cool place to live may soon be ours! Let the moving fest begin!

New word for Vagina #3,267

Cherry Canoe

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Oh Katie Holmes...

You look so pretty and patriotic here, almost like a cake on Flag Day:



But Really, what were you thinking when you left the house looking like this?!:

Happy 1 Year Birthday...

Suri Cruise! You look less and less like your parents, and more and more like an adopted child every day. Maybe you'll get lucky someday and Madonna will buy you, or Angelina Jolie will leave a party with you thinking you are her's.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Anyone want a Taco?

Clam show at the Seismic Gay bar


Lately, Sunday is a day to relax, search for places to live, and hit the bar with friends for a drink or two before the big week begins. "Seismic Gay Bar" is usually packed to the gills and yesterday was no exception. Free shows can abound at times, with people showing off their shirtless bods etc. but this Sunday there was a new exhibitionist amongst the throngs of gays... I never got her name. It was interesting, sad and bizarre to witness what transpired...

Her impromptu strip tease began on stage during a simple butt-rock song... cowboy hat, typical stipper dance moves, and then the clothes started to come off. She flashed her boobs, then showed her boobs, and the audience had two types of reactions: Horror, and Cheers! It was amazing to see just how a group of men can go from relaxed and chatty to all catcalls and "Show us your snatch" in about 2.4 seconds. It was funny to witniss this girl having her fun, dancing and showing off to a crowd she knew was supportive and jovial, but as the second song started there was a sense that she needed to raise the stakes or get off the stage. She raised the bar for herself and started taking off the lower half of her clothes peice by peice. The spreading of labia ensued, camera phones multiplied in the sky with the arms of the giggling masses trying to get a better look. This was when things kinda stopped being funny, stopped being jovial, and kinda started to seem sad... this girl suddenly looked kinda desperate and it appeared she was looking for any and all attention. She WAS making a few bucks from the growing crowd, but she even had a gleam in her eye that maybe she was a little too drunk, or stoned to be doing this... the look that maybe she wasn't gonna remember much the next day. Som small group of her apparent "friends" circled around when she was done with her "set" and within minutes, there was some bj action going on being performed by stripper girl. Funny. Weird. Sad. Completely unexpected for "Seismic gay bar." Maybe it was leftover weirdness from Friday the 13th?

Friday, April 13, 2007

Food Porn

Damn you Claude for getting me hooked on this amazing show! See for yourself ladies and gentlemen, this show is all about yummy yummy food! And it's kind of hilarious when famous japanese drag queens are involved in the panel. Dotchi!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Who do, you do, I do Voodoo...

You remind me of the babe.

Not sure why, but why not:

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

"moving: the saga" part 2

Arrg.... We sadly lost the kinda funky, nice place that had the shower/bedroom combo (it's not as freaky as it must sound) and it was about 1 and a half blocks from "New Local Gay Bar" ...boy could that get me into some trouble. I wouldn't want this blog to be just about sex and drinking now would I? Don't answer that.

Oh Well, it's now back to the drawing board. I guess we are going to make a final stab at trying to get the Atwater place without having to sugically remove our nether regions! The bitch is just asking way too much, 6 months rent up front?! isn't that illegal?! She must really have an issue with the gays and with foreigners... Or maybe she's just a bitch and we should stay away... who knows... I'm just hoping we find a cool place to set down our lives. A place where we can all start anew in different ways/chapters of our lives... That's what we're looking for. Personally, a place where I can feel safe, calm, happy, amongst trustworthy friends and not just some assortment of strangers, and maybe even proud of where we live would be amazing. I'd love to be able to bring someone to my place and not feel like I'm inviting them into College Chic! I want to live in the "Creepy house" no more! (Some kids in my neighborhood were overheard saying that about our place.) I just want to feel at home for the first time in 3 years here. I've gotten close in my little ghetto, but it's time for something closer to that reality.

So velly velly boled......

I'm so frickin bored at work today... I have been to every stupid website that makes me giggle and alas, none have done the job. So I sit...watching the time tick by... awaiting freedom....

so, not to be non-sequitor man but here's a photo of Alanis Morissette on "You can't Do That on Television!":



Alanis lasted less than a year; she was kicked off the show once her addiction to jagged little pills was discovered. I just thought you oughta know.

And now a screen capture of the show "Small Wonder" from the 80's...



God I loved that show. Oh yeah and here's a photo of a Gulag.... cause that's what this place feels like right now...

Monday, April 09, 2007

"Moving: the saga" part 1

Hi ya'll! I'm hoping to finally move out of the ghetto soon. I know the stories of shootings and helicopters and cockfighting have been fun and all, but I think its time. Here's to hoping my friends and I can find a good place soon. We have an application in for two different places, but if anyone out there knows of a good, resonably priced 3 bedroom house in the Silverlake/ Echo Park/ Los Feliz/ Atwater Village area, let me know. (Jesus it's like i'm asking people to let me know if they see a Unicorn with a Bi-sexual Jackalope riding it down the street.... Ok, that bi-sexual joke was for you Jacob...)

Friday, April 06, 2007

ok...ummmm.....


Ah the candid moments when we get to see how a couple really live together...

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Happy Easter Photos

Ok, so there's always a devilish little part of me that enjoys saying really inappropriate things about Jesus around this time of year... I'm sure everyone's heard my Jesus Biting his nails joke by now... But now here's some fun Easter themed images to get ya started on the blasphemy!


This is a more realistic take on Jesus...

Can you see Jesus in this dog's ass?

Ok, not Easter themed but pretty damn funny...

Fuck it, why not?!



A little "Sleestak Re-mix" for ya direct from the "Land of the Lost."

The more You Know... #3



It's never good to share a weird dream with a co-worker... especially when they are killed in that dream by getting stuck in your microwave.......

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Fuck Yeah!!!

Ok, so I know Pride in LA kinda sucks.... every June that weekend rolls around and inevitably I have to beg friends to even go near West Hollywood, let alone attend, the damn event! I usually hit the parade...stroll around a little and then hit a party or bar with friends.... This year..... Are you ready?...... Joan Jett is headlining the music festivities! I remember seeing an incredible concert back in Pittsburgh with her headlining. It's an event when she performs that is not to be missed. So friends, mark the date: June 9th...your asses are mine... or well....at least they will belong to Joan Fuckin Jet! (I'll have to blog about that Pittsburgh concert soon...it was such a strange experience.)

And so it was.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

And now I bring you: Anderson Cooper Shirtless



Ok, so I have had a little crush on him since he was a reporter on "Channel-1" in school, but he's cute and kinda fun... But seriously Anderson, you look like you've done this before...the whole flailing the arms like an idiot doesn't fool us! You probably know the staff "intimately" and you certainly are not as "pale as a newt" like you say... Shoulda let your bf join you in there and make a real video to share.

My Zacki Weekend...

Friday:

It was a doozy wasn't it?! The Day was hectic, insane, crazy, whatever decription best fits your mental picture of me running around with a scowl on my face and scissors within quick reach... and then a fire broke out in the hills nearUniversal and WB studios... Here's the view from "Have a Tard"...

After watching this for...lets say 2 minutes, it was back to work and me attempting not to kill everyone within grasp. Since the date that was planned turned out to be a bust, I went out with friends. First stop, per tradition, was "Jumbo's Clone Room." Kids, the place is fucking weird now...I was joking and all, but they basically one-upped me by erecting what appears to be a new "Big Top" on the back porch. Jesus, this was not what I was in the mood for, so we headed over to "New Local Gay Bar" for some drinks. Now children, please tell me i'm not crazy, but when one backs out of a date feigning illness, is it not pretty tacky to show up at the same "New Local Gay Bar" you had agreed to meet at that night? Oh Well, nice to find out someone sucks....er well...is a dick...wait....hmm those are good things...I got it: that they are just an asshole. Ah, good... now that's out. So After a quick lapse, and some shots it was a fun night after-all.

Saturday:

I looked at places with my friends Scott and Claude, we might be moving in together if all works out. We saw a lovely 3 bedroom up in Atwater Village.... This is truly my dream neighborhood! The place was far better than the soulless place we walked through in Echo Park. Saturday night I stayed in....Read a bit of Angela's Ashes which is much better than I imagined. That night it became clear to me how much I need to leave my little Ghetto! Gunshots, a scream two blocks over....long pause for sirens...then Helicopters for forty-five minutes.... Fuck that place!

Sunday:

LA Leatherfest with friends Claude, Billy and Glenn! I wore my Utilikilt, some boots, ya know: my version of Tough Kilted Mo-fo! I had a much better time than I expected to. I had kind of avoided this event in the past, didn't know alot of friends here, too much traffic etc... I'd also maybe listened to too many nay sayers of such events over time... I was glad I went. It was great fun losing friends in the crowd, finding them later after some fun wandering of my own. We also saw a really fun band called Nudist Priest... You get the picture:



All in all, a great weekend... Too bad I had to come back to work on "Have a Tard."