To see my entry at Paul V's wonderful blog "Born This Way"Click Here
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Black Coffee in Bed
You asked for it Michael, now here ya go. My favorite group from Childhood was Squeeze. This song always brings me back to the days of hanging out with my sister in her room and dancing on the bed to such greats as "Pulling mussels from a shell" and "tempted."
Friday, January 18, 2008
A wind came a blowin'
Wednesday night, the wind in LA had picked up and the warmer Santa Ana winds were swirling about my neighborhood. It was electric and charged with warmth that always feels good after its been so cold (by LA standards) for so long. It brought me right back to those warm nights of Burning Man, and just so happened to co-incide with the first day of ticket sales for the event. I need to find a way to swing a ticket asap, cause they just get more expensive each block that sells away, as well as the fact that they are not selling ANY tickets at the gate this year. I better not have that freakout of the potentially lost ticket the night before like I did last time.
As a kid, the Santa Ana winds were always fun to play in at night, running around chasing the dry leaves and pouncing upon them with a hearty CRUNCH! The feeling of these breezes takes me back to the big windstorm Grammy night in the early 1980's when I was watching Whitney Houston perform (I kind of adored her) and the lights went out aafter a large bang from the front yeard. The transformer on our street had blown and the sparks caught our neghbor's lawn on fire. As a kid, it wasn't really scary, as much as a cool free fireworks show. I love the wind.
As a kid, the Santa Ana winds were always fun to play in at night, running around chasing the dry leaves and pouncing upon them with a hearty CRUNCH! The feeling of these breezes takes me back to the big windstorm Grammy night in the early 1980's when I was watching Whitney Houston perform (I kind of adored her) and the lights went out aafter a large bang from the front yeard. The transformer on our street had blown and the sparks caught our neghbor's lawn on fire. As a kid, it wasn't really scary, as much as a cool free fireworks show. I love the wind.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Now I'll never be a teen model!
So yesterday morning, I got into work and sat at my desk as always. The next ten or so minutes consisted of the usual post vacation chat about turkeys, pies, tiredness, family etc... After recounting to my boss about the wonderful break I had enjoyed, it hit me..... The plastic cover for the fluorescent lights above me smacked me down like a bitch and left three nice gashes in my nose. I know poor me, but it all really did happen so fast. Laugh laugh, loud noise, bang and I'm down. I now fear being cheery in the office. Perhaps that's what they want!? All kidding aside I'm fine and just a little embarrassed at how these weird things happen to me frequently in life, remember my little scrap with an electric door? Anywho, the bandaid is off today, I got a well deserved extra day at home with an ice pack and some movies, and the throbbing sensation has subsided.
To recap turkey day: It was a lovely day with good friends, a wonderfully juicy turkey, and some mellow fun. I even made a tart which turned out pretty well. (A little over cooked in the crust dept. but still good.) All had a good time and I was comatose in bed by 11:30. We all also learned from my roommate's sister that the new term for a Queef (female vaginal fart) is a "Rose Fart." Odd, I know, you kinda had to be there. I hope someday a writer friend will name one of their characters "Rose Varts." I digress.
I got in alot of movie watching time so here's my bit second reviews of all the films I saw:
1. Beowulf. Ok, still look kinda corpse-ish, lotsa ass, very rentable fair but not riveting.
2. Enchanted. Cute, Amy Adams MAKES this movie. Patrick Dempsey is still a block of salt. Worth a rent if you are bored and want to smile, don't bother seeing it in the theatre with all the whiny kids.
3. The TV Set. Weird, too insidery for those who aren't in the biz (aka boring for them) and the only redeeming factor: Sigourney Weaver in a light bitchy role. David Duchovny and beard= bad.
4. Zoo. Disturbing doc on beastiality that is set in my hometown Enumclaw, WA. Worth a watch for its subtle style of telling such a touchy story. Worth a rent for those with a stronger mind than stomach. Also, in one shot you can see the back of my old house up on the hill.
5. Notes on a Scandal. Wonderful, great acting, a must see, creepiest damn Judi Dench character EVER.
6. Year of the Dog. Disappointing, Molly Shannon is boring, weirdly depressing and not as hopeful or funny as it says it is...avoid it.
7. Day Watch. If you liked Night Watch, this is a great continuation of the funky Russian vampire/ matrixy good vs. evil trilogy. They weren't nearly as specific and creative with the subtitles this go round.
To recap turkey day: It was a lovely day with good friends, a wonderfully juicy turkey, and some mellow fun. I even made a tart which turned out pretty well. (A little over cooked in the crust dept. but still good.) All had a good time and I was comatose in bed by 11:30. We all also learned from my roommate's sister that the new term for a Queef (female vaginal fart) is a "Rose Fart." Odd, I know, you kinda had to be there. I hope someday a writer friend will name one of their characters "Rose Varts." I digress.
I got in alot of movie watching time so here's my bit second reviews of all the films I saw:
1. Beowulf. Ok, still look kinda corpse-ish, lotsa ass, very rentable fair but not riveting.
2. Enchanted. Cute, Amy Adams MAKES this movie. Patrick Dempsey is still a block of salt. Worth a rent if you are bored and want to smile, don't bother seeing it in the theatre with all the whiny kids.
3. The TV Set. Weird, too insidery for those who aren't in the biz (aka boring for them) and the only redeeming factor: Sigourney Weaver in a light bitchy role. David Duchovny and beard= bad.
4. Zoo. Disturbing doc on beastiality that is set in my hometown Enumclaw, WA. Worth a watch for its subtle style of telling such a touchy story. Worth a rent for those with a stronger mind than stomach. Also, in one shot you can see the back of my old house up on the hill.
5. Notes on a Scandal. Wonderful, great acting, a must see, creepiest damn Judi Dench character EVER.
6. Year of the Dog. Disappointing, Molly Shannon is boring, weirdly depressing and not as hopeful or funny as it says it is...avoid it.
7. Day Watch. If you liked Night Watch, this is a great continuation of the funky Russian vampire/ matrixy good vs. evil trilogy. They weren't nearly as specific and creative with the subtitles this go round.
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Cramps
I loved The Cramps as a kid. Bad Music for Bad People was probably the most used cassette tape I had aside from my Squeeze collection. My sister always had a profound influence on my musical tastes and she must be credited for my even knowing about these strange rockers. Enjoy the above video "Bikini girls with machine guns," and the video below made by a fan using paper cuts and some stop motion animation for the awesome song "Human Fly." This music always gets me in the modd for Halloween so come back to this page and crank it up before you go out a' haunting!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Alright kiddo, gimme that damn re-called toy!
So they recall a bunch of toys for some lead paint dangers?....what happened to the tough love of the 60's 70's and 80's where we were made to learn life's little dangers while playing.... like lawn darts, who doesn't have a great childhood story about those little rods of death?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
A bit o' the update
Hello fair blog readers, I know I don't write nearly enough about myself on here. I'm sure you feel so deprived of my true being, so I figured I'd drop a line. (Hehehehe like anyone reads this thing Zack!)
Today is yet another droning day at "Have a Tard" and hopefully these days are numbered... there are only 46 days till the big burn at Burningman so that gives me something to look forward to. This weekend was filled with lots of movies and some burningman prep with Billy and Glen. We hit a few great thrift stores (The St. Vincent De Paul neardowntown is amazing everyone!) and I managed to find some great boots which never happens when you have size 13 feet, and a few select items to don. I need to get my ass in gear this upcoming weekend and accomplish at least two things: 1.Test run putting up the tent and 2.Make big headway on the topiary penises... This can easily be done if I get up and off my ass. Billy found some great bizarre fare with lots of flash and Glen found the perfect Mrs. Roper MuMu.
Today I also heard from a strange friend from the past.......Nova! She was a bizarre character in the history of my childhood commonly reffered to as "Pretty pretty princess!" She sent me a message on myspace.com. It appears she is still out in Atlanta where her family moved when I was about 8. Nova was named apparently after the "best damn car" her parents ever owned, oh and how pretty the reference to stars is..... All I can ever see in my head when I say the word is that big ugly blue car, or a tv guide listing for a boring documentary on gravity. Nova's family lived across the street from me for a few years beginning when I was about 5 in the house belonging to a local church reserved for the pastor and his family. (The place was kind of a shithole actually and I remember writing "bitch" on the stucco in iceplant one day and stained it forever....they had to repaint...I never admitted till now I was the culprit.) His mother had an angry face most every day, I remember her yelling alot. Nova's brother was named Aaron, he was commonly known as "little old man" in my house due to his propensity to order people around while shouting bible verses, and the fact that at the age of 7 he looked like he had old man's disease and was 80. At the time hearing my family refer to him that way pissed me off, but now I find it pretty hilarious.
Quite often when playing together, Arron and the "Bare assed twins" would get into a fight. Arron would be shouting things about how they were sinners and were damned to a life in purgatory unless they repented, when Heather would retort "Fuck off Aaron." Those were good times. Every game we would play Nova would swoop in and inevitably want to be the princess of whatever we were playing. We could be playing Jonestown Massacre and she'd wander in declaring herself the princess of Jonestown or Kool-Aid Land, whatever she had named the "kingdom"..... she never really branched out and wanted to be Queen thank god. So strange were my days as a child....
Today is yet another droning day at "Have a Tard" and hopefully these days are numbered... there are only 46 days till the big burn at Burningman so that gives me something to look forward to. This weekend was filled with lots of movies and some burningman prep with Billy and Glen. We hit a few great thrift stores (The St. Vincent De Paul neardowntown is amazing everyone!) and I managed to find some great boots which never happens when you have size 13 feet, and a few select items to don. I need to get my ass in gear this upcoming weekend and accomplish at least two things: 1.Test run putting up the tent and 2.Make big headway on the topiary penises... This can easily be done if I get up and off my ass. Billy found some great bizarre fare with lots of flash and Glen found the perfect Mrs. Roper MuMu.
Today I also heard from a strange friend from the past.......Nova! She was a bizarre character in the history of my childhood commonly reffered to as "Pretty pretty princess!" She sent me a message on myspace.com. It appears she is still out in Atlanta where her family moved when I was about 8. Nova was named apparently after the "best damn car" her parents ever owned, oh and how pretty the reference to stars is..... All I can ever see in my head when I say the word is that big ugly blue car, or a tv guide listing for a boring documentary on gravity. Nova's family lived across the street from me for a few years beginning when I was about 5 in the house belonging to a local church reserved for the pastor and his family. (The place was kind of a shithole actually and I remember writing "bitch" on the stucco in iceplant one day and stained it forever....they had to repaint...I never admitted till now I was the culprit.) His mother had an angry face most every day, I remember her yelling alot. Nova's brother was named Aaron, he was commonly known as "little old man" in my house due to his propensity to order people around while shouting bible verses, and the fact that at the age of 7 he looked like he had old man's disease and was 80. At the time hearing my family refer to him that way pissed me off, but now I find it pretty hilarious.
Quite often when playing together, Arron and the "Bare assed twins" would get into a fight. Arron would be shouting things about how they were sinners and were damned to a life in purgatory unless they repented, when Heather would retort "Fuck off Aaron." Those were good times. Every game we would play Nova would swoop in and inevitably want to be the princess of whatever we were playing. We could be playing Jonestown Massacre and she'd wander in declaring herself the princess of Jonestown or Kool-Aid Land, whatever she had named the "kingdom"..... she never really branched out and wanted to be Queen thank god. So strange were my days as a child....
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Storytime again kiddies.....
Let me tell you a story kids, sit down on the tape circle, cross your legs and listen up... Once upon a time, way back when I was 6, there lived 2 little girls next door that my parents lovingly named "The Bare ass twins."
Heather and Andie lived next door to me for as long as I could remember. I think perhaps they moved in when I was like 3 or 4. Their father was a sour faced man with thick glasses who always wore brown polyester pants and spent most of his time swearing at them or making model cars and sniffing glue. Janet, their mother, was a very large woman and to this day reminds me of Divine with a bigger wig and an uglier mu-mu. She would often take me to lunch with them when we'd be playing together during Summer, which always consisted of a happy meal at Mc Donalds. These girls were the poster children of Mc Donals having every toy they offered and eating there for about 2 meals a day every day of their life. No matter how much Iloved Mc D's at that age, I did find it a little odd that they ate there so much.
Heather and Andie were both fun and tiring to me at the same time. They were just as rambunctious as all the boys in the hood, and had much stronger mouths.... "Fuck off Andie!" "You're a bitch Heather!" "Eat Shit you little bitch Andie!" To find the source of their creative word choices one only had to listen carefully every evening as their backyard, garage, or if the window were open, their house was flooded with curses and screaming. Such the peaceful life these girls had.
The nickname my parents gave to these poor little girls was based on the fact that their Mother would let them, if not encourage them, to run around the neighborhood nude. Some perv could have had his own creepy show if he strolled up Carolyn Way anytime during the daylight hours. Running through the sprinklers or chasing eachother in the streets, their penchant was for freedom of style... My parents eventually told me there was a new rule: No playing with the girls unless they had clothes on. Imagine trying to tell your friends "My mom says we can't play till you put some panties on...." It was an odd but colorful childhood I had, huh?
Off and on we would have to play inside as it got up in the hundreds during Summer in the Valley. One afternoon when I was about 5 or 6, we were inside watching the Wizard of Oz together at their place. This movie was of course a favorite of mine, and we all knew every word. Janet was wandering around in her wardrobe, which was a fairly usual occurence. With Janet, it was always cup of coffee, some pills from the table, a bit of yelling, then a nap in the bedroom as we were instructed to hush up. This specific day she even had some friends. They were hangin' out, drinking beers, chatting, unloading camera equipment and setting up light in Janet's bedroom. I don't remember thinking this situation was all that strange. Janet instructed us she was going into her bedroom to make a movie and she was at NO POINT to be disturbed! "What a bitch" I rememeber thinking and we went back to our movie.
Somewhere around the Tin Man's forest scene we got bored so a game of "Lava" was in order. We jumped from surface to surface until inevitably something broke or someone got hurt. Andie fell from the sofa, hit her head on the fireplace mantel and started to cry. I rmember Heather wiping off some blood with a towel and trying to shut her up so Janet wouldn't hear. Even though it was just a scratch, it was a bit more blood than it should have been and I knew this was kind of serious. I marched through the hall and knocked on the door. Janet appeared tying her robe, I remeber some guy's leg hanging out of the bed covers, and lots of cameras and lights around. She started to holler, and I could barely get out what had happened.... I started to cry and ran home.
My mother was used to the routine of "Janet made me cry" as she was good at screaming and swearing at anyones child. I explained it simply between sobs: "I was watching...the....movie....and....Janet said don't talk to her in her room.... and her friends were there...." "Um...what friends?" my mother asked. "Her camera friends and they were making a mvie and Andie bumped her head and janet yelled at me cause I told her." "WHAT? Where were they making a movie, and of what?" "In her bedroom, she said don't bother her...." "Stay here!" my mom shouted. I heard our front door fly open and immediately my mother bellowed through the neighborhood: "Janet Charleton!"
The rest was a string of yelling back and forth. I knew something bad had just occured and that I most likely wasn't allowed over there anymore. Oh well, it smelled like cat piss over there anyways.
Heather and Andie lived next door to me for as long as I could remember. I think perhaps they moved in when I was like 3 or 4. Their father was a sour faced man with thick glasses who always wore brown polyester pants and spent most of his time swearing at them or making model cars and sniffing glue. Janet, their mother, was a very large woman and to this day reminds me of Divine with a bigger wig and an uglier mu-mu. She would often take me to lunch with them when we'd be playing together during Summer, which always consisted of a happy meal at Mc Donalds. These girls were the poster children of Mc Donals having every toy they offered and eating there for about 2 meals a day every day of their life. No matter how much Iloved Mc D's at that age, I did find it a little odd that they ate there so much.
Heather and Andie were both fun and tiring to me at the same time. They were just as rambunctious as all the boys in the hood, and had much stronger mouths.... "Fuck off Andie!" "You're a bitch Heather!" "Eat Shit you little bitch Andie!" To find the source of their creative word choices one only had to listen carefully every evening as their backyard, garage, or if the window were open, their house was flooded with curses and screaming. Such the peaceful life these girls had.
The nickname my parents gave to these poor little girls was based on the fact that their Mother would let them, if not encourage them, to run around the neighborhood nude. Some perv could have had his own creepy show if he strolled up Carolyn Way anytime during the daylight hours. Running through the sprinklers or chasing eachother in the streets, their penchant was for freedom of style... My parents eventually told me there was a new rule: No playing with the girls unless they had clothes on. Imagine trying to tell your friends "My mom says we can't play till you put some panties on...." It was an odd but colorful childhood I had, huh?
Off and on we would have to play inside as it got up in the hundreds during Summer in the Valley. One afternoon when I was about 5 or 6, we were inside watching the Wizard of Oz together at their place. This movie was of course a favorite of mine, and we all knew every word. Janet was wandering around in her wardrobe, which was a fairly usual occurence. With Janet, it was always cup of coffee, some pills from the table, a bit of yelling, then a nap in the bedroom as we were instructed to hush up. This specific day she even had some friends. They were hangin' out, drinking beers, chatting, unloading camera equipment and setting up light in Janet's bedroom. I don't remember thinking this situation was all that strange. Janet instructed us she was going into her bedroom to make a movie and she was at NO POINT to be disturbed! "What a bitch" I rememeber thinking and we went back to our movie.
Somewhere around the Tin Man's forest scene we got bored so a game of "Lava" was in order. We jumped from surface to surface until inevitably something broke or someone got hurt. Andie fell from the sofa, hit her head on the fireplace mantel and started to cry. I rmember Heather wiping off some blood with a towel and trying to shut her up so Janet wouldn't hear. Even though it was just a scratch, it was a bit more blood than it should have been and I knew this was kind of serious. I marched through the hall and knocked on the door. Janet appeared tying her robe, I remeber some guy's leg hanging out of the bed covers, and lots of cameras and lights around. She started to holler, and I could barely get out what had happened.... I started to cry and ran home.
My mother was used to the routine of "Janet made me cry" as she was good at screaming and swearing at anyones child. I explained it simply between sobs: "I was watching...the....movie....and....Janet said don't talk to her in her room.... and her friends were there...." "Um...what friends?" my mother asked. "Her camera friends and they were making a mvie and Andie bumped her head and janet yelled at me cause I told her." "WHAT? Where were they making a movie, and of what?" "In her bedroom, she said don't bother her...." "Stay here!" my mom shouted. I heard our front door fly open and immediately my mother bellowed through the neighborhood: "Janet Charleton!"
The rest was a string of yelling back and forth. I knew something bad had just occured and that I most likely wasn't allowed over there anymore. Oh well, it smelled like cat piss over there anyways.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
100 posts strong, and something a little more real.
Ok, so I started this post a few days ago and haven't really had the heart or mood to finish it, so here it is...It was basically going to be 100th post, now it's my 102nd.
Moments that changed my life: The Challenger Disaster
I was a pretty smart young kid, and had never had a problem understanding ideas like "love" or "hurt," but Death hadn't really ever hit home with me. I didn't get the finality of it. Everything was possible, how could the person you just met one day go away forever the next?
My Teacher, knew the woman who was travelling into space. To describe just how cool that is is next to impossible. My Teacher was friends with the teacher who had grabbed America's heart, and inspired us as students. In my mind, it was like she knew God, or the guy who invented sugary treats!
In preperation, we had studied the space program, fuel cells, thrusters, and even got into a bit of the science behind jet fuel propulsion... it was Montessori after-all. The big tv on the black metal cart was pulled out in every classroom... it was THE TV event! I had waited for weeks to see this moment. My heart raced, my hands sweated, and I imagined myself in there, flying into outer space... and that woman who was in there, was going to come meet with us in a few months after she returned!
....then it happened. It was all a flash...a blur.... and for once in my life, I didn't comprehend.... it had to be a joke... that was all a test right, now they'll really leave. Then from behind me I heard a gasp I'll never forget. My teacher covered her mouth and gathered herself... and asked us all to move into the other room. The tv was shut off, we moved away, the other teachers took over, and all that could be heard were children asking, and even pleading for answers. All I heard was quiet sobs from the room next door. Her quiet strength has stayed with me to this day. I can't imagine what It would have been like had she lost it in front of us all. That day I understood death. I went in leter and asked, why... And for once, an adult didn't sugarcoat it... "I don't know. Things just come to an end sometimes. I'm just as lost as you..." "That's scary" I beleive I said. "I'm a little scaed too..."
This was the first time I had the guts to go back and watch this, but it's pretty amazing... and sad
Moments that changed my life: The Challenger Disaster
I was a pretty smart young kid, and had never had a problem understanding ideas like "love" or "hurt," but Death hadn't really ever hit home with me. I didn't get the finality of it. Everything was possible, how could the person you just met one day go away forever the next?
My Teacher, knew the woman who was travelling into space. To describe just how cool that is is next to impossible. My Teacher was friends with the teacher who had grabbed America's heart, and inspired us as students. In my mind, it was like she knew God, or the guy who invented sugary treats!
In preperation, we had studied the space program, fuel cells, thrusters, and even got into a bit of the science behind jet fuel propulsion... it was Montessori after-all. The big tv on the black metal cart was pulled out in every classroom... it was THE TV event! I had waited for weeks to see this moment. My heart raced, my hands sweated, and I imagined myself in there, flying into outer space... and that woman who was in there, was going to come meet with us in a few months after she returned!
....then it happened. It was all a flash...a blur.... and for once in my life, I didn't comprehend.... it had to be a joke... that was all a test right, now they'll really leave. Then from behind me I heard a gasp I'll never forget. My teacher covered her mouth and gathered herself... and asked us all to move into the other room. The tv was shut off, we moved away, the other teachers took over, and all that could be heard were children asking, and even pleading for answers. All I heard was quiet sobs from the room next door. Her quiet strength has stayed with me to this day. I can't imagine what It would have been like had she lost it in front of us all. That day I understood death. I went in leter and asked, why... And for once, an adult didn't sugarcoat it... "I don't know. Things just come to an end sometimes. I'm just as lost as you..." "That's scary" I beleive I said. "I'm a little scaed too..."
This was the first time I had the guts to go back and watch this, but it's pretty amazing... and sad
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Oh to be a musical slave!
Ok, did anyone else watch "Kidd Video" Back in the day? I loved this show... as retarded as the show was, I think I kinda had a crush on the skinny blonde kid... or maybe I just wanted some awesome leg warmers like that damn fairy!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, November 30, 2006
The electric doors from HELL!
To break the tradition this week of posting videos, I thought I'd actually hunker down and tell ya a story!
When I was about 6 years old, I enjoyed going shopping with my mother. We would go to the photomat together, the little one down on foothill that you could drive through. We would always do the grocery shopping together. I loved picking out plants at the nursery with her as we both seemed to share the same distaste for scraggly annuals. One day, our shopping adventure took a dark turn for the worse.
Thrifty was your basic drug store with an ice-cream counter in front. (Why they put the ice-cream section in the sunny front window is beyond me, with all the potential melting... Also, I believe Thrifty is now owned by Rite-Aid, and still sports the same basic red and blue scheme. ) The store was nestled back from the road in your very typical, late 70's shopping center. We entered the store as my mother dragged me back from the box of free kittens out front, and I asked to get a sip of water at the drinking fountain. This was really a strategic move on my part, it allowed me to wander off unsupervised for a few minutes and be at the front window of the store staring at the kitties I longed to own. I took a few sips and cautiously approached the glass window that the electric door slid back on.
*Sidenote: you know how electric doors these days slide into a pocket of sorts and no longer just back on themselves? I'm part of the reason for that....
I pushed my face against the warm glass and started to make faces at the sweet little felines. They launched up and played with the glass hoping to get through. In the periphery of my sight, I noticed a large woman in black spandex approach the door. In a split second I heard a whirring sound approach and grab my lips. *SPLAT!* The area between the door and window now had a fan of my blood dripping down it. "Oh Christ! Help!" the fat lady scremed as she ran toward me, making the door retract for a split second and then catch my upper lip harder this time. Within seconds the doors released their grip and I wandered to the middle of the entry screming and crying for my mommy. "What the fuck happened here?!" My mother blurted as she approached, sweeping me into her arms and carrying me off to the hospital. I distinctly remember the manager spewing lots of "please don't sue" "Free Ice-cream" etc... all most likely in the hopes of saving his job and the company a serious lawsuit.
Several stiches later and some serious pain, I got myself one hell of a story. How many kids can say they have had their lips caught in an electric door?
When I was about 6 years old, I enjoyed going shopping with my mother. We would go to the photomat together, the little one down on foothill that you could drive through. We would always do the grocery shopping together. I loved picking out plants at the nursery with her as we both seemed to share the same distaste for scraggly annuals. One day, our shopping adventure took a dark turn for the worse.
Thrifty was your basic drug store with an ice-cream counter in front. (Why they put the ice-cream section in the sunny front window is beyond me, with all the potential melting... Also, I believe Thrifty is now owned by Rite-Aid, and still sports the same basic red and blue scheme. ) The store was nestled back from the road in your very typical, late 70's shopping center. We entered the store as my mother dragged me back from the box of free kittens out front, and I asked to get a sip of water at the drinking fountain. This was really a strategic move on my part, it allowed me to wander off unsupervised for a few minutes and be at the front window of the store staring at the kitties I longed to own. I took a few sips and cautiously approached the glass window that the electric door slid back on.
*Sidenote: you know how electric doors these days slide into a pocket of sorts and no longer just back on themselves? I'm part of the reason for that....
I pushed my face against the warm glass and started to make faces at the sweet little felines. They launched up and played with the glass hoping to get through. In the periphery of my sight, I noticed a large woman in black spandex approach the door. In a split second I heard a whirring sound approach and grab my lips. *SPLAT!* The area between the door and window now had a fan of my blood dripping down it. "Oh Christ! Help!" the fat lady scremed as she ran toward me, making the door retract for a split second and then catch my upper lip harder this time. Within seconds the doors released their grip and I wandered to the middle of the entry screming and crying for my mommy. "What the fuck happened here?!" My mother blurted as she approached, sweeping me into her arms and carrying me off to the hospital. I distinctly remember the manager spewing lots of "please don't sue" "Free Ice-cream" etc... all most likely in the hopes of saving his job and the company a serious lawsuit.
Several stiches later and some serious pain, I got myself one hell of a story. How many kids can say they have had their lips caught in an electric door?
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