Wednesday, March 14, 2007

An open message for Sanjaya

Blogging about American idol... How original huh? But I just had to purge my mind of what's been flowing through it all day....

Sanajaya! WTF!

OK... the hair dawg...let's discuss the hair...

While the curls were well placed when you first began to yelp, I mean sing... By the end of the frickin' song it was as if your head had expanded to seven times its size. Your hair resembled many a famous hair-dont:

-Shirley Temple
-Curly Sue
-Early Paula Abdul
-Whitney pre-crack (amazingly enough)
-Marissa Winokur
-A pile of seaweed floating in sewage
-Don King

Whatever, you get the point. Listen babe, as much as I agree with Diana Ross that you have a sweet heart, this is a fucking singing competition. When are you gonna start singing? Every week when you take the stage, I feel like i'm trapped at some old couple's home who adopted some Indian boy who they think sings like a songbird. "Sanjaya, sing for the man... oh he has such an angelic voice, you'll see. Isn't it heavenly.... oooo and Sanjaya do that little funky dance you do too... I tell you he's such a triple threat! He's gonna be a star someday!" If only the bitch had a battery in that hearing aid.

You poor boy... how cruel to have put you through even the first round only to rip out your heart through your mouth next week when your sweetness finally wears off for people, and all those girls start to think they might be a lesbian if they vote for you one more time.

My Advice: get out while you still have some of your dig... oh wait...nevermind too late.

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