Thursday, May 24, 2007

You are free America...

Free to return to your daily lives, spend time with your children, play in the streets again, leave the couch and venture into that big scary world, because American Idol is FINALLY over....

Yes, unless your head has been firmly cemented into the ground you probablynot only know who won, but were there on your ass witnessing the final in all its glory. Did anyone else wonder who that strange drag queen was impersonating Bette Midler? I also wondered if there was a way to calculate just how much plastic surgery Smokey Robinson has had on his face... but anywho... All that matters is we are now free. We as a people can rise up, turn off the tube, and move on knowing the creepy beatbox boy didn't win. (I did hear somebody at "Avian Gay Bar" saying they'd love it if he lost, cause then they could go over and help him "Pack his sh*t".....yeah gross but couldn't help including that little morsel of fun.)

Maybe next year I'll try my hand at writing a song for that last awkward moment. Those songs always seem to be something like the following:

I am dreaming of a moment
Dreaming of a dream
And I am holding on to the feeling
The future holds more moments
My now is a moment of the future
(Insert something about a dream)
(Insert something about how great I feel)
(Insert something about being lifted up into my....)
Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeems! (always a swelling big note)
Cause this is my future!
(Something about struggling in the past)
(Something about thanking all those who helped me)
(something about letting go of the past)
I am living in my moment
Thank you for my Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam! (big finish and weep....kind of drop the mike a little like you are gonna collapse....there ya be engulfed by the swelling group of rejected idols who know they are just another Justin Guarini fade away, maybe some have record deals, but all will go in opposite directions after these:)
MOMENTS...........(and the strings take us out)


Paul said...

Reading that song was truly emotional. Where is that damn kleenex? By the way, can I get a copy of the dance mix? Or maybe Rod Stewart, Barry Manilow or Tony Bennet will record it for their next "Standards Of The 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's That Were Recorded Outside The Brill Building With All My New Friends Who Think They Can Sing Big Band And Jazz" album.

Mandi said...

oh my goodness... i don't normally comment on your blogs BUT I have to say that I seriously had to mute it during Bette's song... and started yelling at the TV when Sanjaya was on.. it seriously didn't need to take 2 damn hours to tell us who won.. we all knew it.... but I have to say I love your song.. and you should send it in

Miss you
(your northern friend)