Oy with the hipster couples!

So over the last few weeks it has come to my attention that I am getting older...slipping away from youth more and more... Now, this isn't some call to arms for a mid-life crisis or anything, but I am noticing that so many of my friends and the people I see each day are coupling up if not already having babies. That old joke about gettin' knocked up seems to have found its triumphant punchline. Weddings, babies, divorces even... In the age old words of Kelly: "What the hell?!"

I see hipster couples pushing strollers with their kids around adorned in ironic vintage tees scaled down for baby. (Does your kid really listen to Suicidal Tendencies?) Tattooed throngs pushing their kiddies to and fro, gay men cooing into another damn over-priced perambulators... And those who once proclaimed that "selling out" was a fate worse than death now drive gas hogging expensive mini-vans while shopping at Whole Foods. I guess we all grow up eventually and "settle down" but as of late I am feeling torn. Am I the last one in my circle to grow up?

I saw one very cute, very hip couple the other day sitting in their new car just gazing into eachother's eyes as their baby sat asleep in the backseat. (Yes, the kid had a Clash shirt on.) I must say I felt a little jealous, yes. I realized that my gross "What the fuck is wrong with you guys! You totally sold out and look ridiculous!" momentary thought, was how my friends looked at me for three years when I was with Michael.... and then the two and half years with Keith... I was informed that "playing house" at my age was a waste of my time and that dancing and flitting from guy to guy was a better way to live. I didn't listen. I still don't really agree with their assesment as so much of those two doomed relationships taught me so much, and made me who I am today. I do think, however that my reaction had alot to do with wanting that feeling back. "Playing house" seems to be what everyone is aiming for these days and I have to say to all you bitches who gave me shit back then, good luck... enjoy it... I hope it works out and lasts forever. (See I'm not that bitter.) I want it too. I want those moments of hand holding, gazing into eyes, watching a movie at home while its rainy, cuddling up in the warm bed while its so cold outside... (Winter might be the cause of this nesting bout?) Who doesn't want that right? I know Paul in Atlanta can attest to this... My last "date" was a sad disaster that at leaast included a swim in a pool. (What? It was a hot day and i'm not above going on a date with someone for their pool, even though they were the most dull man I had met since moving here.) Perhaps I'm looking in all the wrong places. Is my next step a Match.com kind of website? Shall I call from the mountaintops of Griffith Park my predicament, or would that smack as too desperate? Hell, lying in the road is another sure fire way to stop traffic, don't put it past me.

What have I done?

Well, every now and then there is or should be a more serious topic put into my little blogosphere, and I guess this may be my first. I live here in LA. LA is a wonderful and hateful little town that resides permanently on a faultline. This ensures that any and all bitches who spend money on plastic sugery only do it with the knowledge that at any moment they could plummet down a crevice with perky breasts and six pack abs, all before breakfast.

Don't get me wrong, I WAS born here, but moving back hasn't been the treat it was orginally imagined. In my head, LA was warmer and filled with opportunity. (Well, the warm part was way too correct this past Summer.) I've had some great near misses, but "Opportunity" has yet to kick my door in. Consider this my bitchy rant if you will, nobody reads this shit anyhow...Any comments? Nope.

I love LA... How many people can say they are an orginal, born here, native?! That's rare... Right? But I'm disenchanted as of late. I am stuck in a job, that pays, but I hate it... Albeit it is in the field of my interest, but just on the fringe of what I want to do. When do I get to use that over-priced, masters fucking degree of mine?! I have yet to enjoy the supposed benefits of being "Master Bunker!" Fuck me!

I am lucky enough to have a great group of supportive friends. This city is teeming with great people either in the same boat, or just as wonderfully disenchanted. At present, most of my friends happen to be coupled. This isn't a new occurence in my life as most of it has been spent in a long term relationship, or the obligatory "this is my sexless, single friend Zack.... He's really funny...." They at least have found good partnerships. Over the past year, I have to say any of my friends who paired up found really great people, who compliment them so well and will most likely last beyond what I've experienced! I do remember times where everyone was paired up with seriously bad choices and suddenly my singlehood seemed a safer bet.

I went to a really wonderful party at a friend's house earlier this evening. (The risotto was awesome, you know who you are.) It was a good experience to see several types of people I don't normally come into contact with. There were the good, cute, couples in their bliss... There were the bitter, single 24 year olds gettin a little tipsy... There were the near stalkerish young girls recounting their scary stories of sleeping with thier teachers... But over-all it was so comforting to see that there are so many people out there just wanting or trying to connect. Working at "local gay bar" can make me jaded sometimes with the idea of actually being able to connect. I believe that getting away from there more and more might give me some perspective.

I just am itching for something new. I'd love a new person, boyfriend, friend, or person of interest in my life. Maybe it's the presence of Winter and Fall but I seem to be in a nesting phase. As convoluted, and ill fated it was, I had my eye on someone. These little crushes are always just that. From the get go, being rational and knowing the outcome always softens the blow. Soon, the crush on someone will be more than, who knows? I'd light a candle and stay home with a good book If I could, but how is that ever gonna change my life? Don't get me wrong, I've read some life changing books, but is it gonna keep me warm? If I light that book on fire it will, but that won't jive with THIS bitch's renters insurance! Sometimes, bucking up can just be exhausting. Winter in LA: we don't have to shovel sunshine!