Thursday, August 23, 2007

On work and frustration.

Well, my issues with this horrible job on "Have a tard" seem to be dimishing with every passing hour. I live more comfortably knowing that this weekend I will be leaving on my grand excursion and that my days here upon my return are numbered. Thank god that this experience will be over soon, I really hate this place. Yesterday I started to actually get giddy at the idea of having a break from the dank corners of this glorified wharehouse in Playa Vista. Over-all: General career malaise.

It has been 3 years since I moved to LA and started working in "the Biz" and I can't say I've made it all that far. I know, I tend to be an impatiant person and my close friends have heard me bitch about my work issues at length. If that describes any of you, feel free to scroll down further and escape this tirade. I just wish there was a faster way to get to my ultimate goal of working in the industry, in the union, on creative interesting work and making enough money to no longer be up to my ears in debt. I want to be further along than I am. I think this long pause has affected my drive. I used to be so passionate and had so much resolve, but now I feel like a bit of a zombie now when it comes to which direction I am headed. I think that is why I decided of all the years to go to Burning Man, this is the first time I really NEED it. I am going with the hope I will be inspired. I am going to allow myself to decompress, let go of some things, experience new things, test my ability to survive in a harsh climate, and in some ways to wake myself up and prove I'm still alive inside there. This trip is my way of recharging my creative battery. It is time to remember where I was 3 years ago and reclaim some of that.

It's too easy to blame LA and say how hard it is to get ahead in the entertainment industry, but when all is said and done the buck stops with me. I think in some ways my lack of resolve and some whifs of my general malaise have kept me firmly planted right where I am. I am determined to change this. I don't want to think back and see a waste of time and energy filling in my memories.

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