So Last night I had an oh so uncomfortable chat with my mother. Things appear to be a tad bleak this holiday season for my family as my mother's job has cut her down from 5 days of work to only 2 or the occasional 3... My Father apparently was layed off from his job with the hopes they can bring him back on in the spring. Both my parents are in their late 60's and live on a very fixed income, this isn't good. My own financial situation isn't pretty either. Swamped with student loans, and other piles of bills, Zack finds him nearing the end of one job, with two weeks off till the following one starts... with no pay in between and maybe some paltry amount of unemployment that will arrive to late to help, this ain't lookin' pretty. I'm worried for them.
So after that bomb shell, my mother asks the question i've been evading lately... "When are you coming for Christmas?" Oh. Shit. "Well mom, I am kind of flat broke and can't afford to come this year... the cheapest ticket I could find is $550 and that isn't gonna work for me." She started to cry. My mom has had me there every single christmas since I was born but one... and that's a good track record for 29 years, well this would be number 2... It was tough to tackle all of this stuff in one session for the both of us, so we hung up morose and kind of bummed about the whole discussion. It's hard leaving things like that for me. I don't like that creepy unspoken hurt hanging in the air between me and others. Over-all it kinda sucked ass, so I didn't sleep very well.
On a more positive note, I did get an interesting possible offer this morning for where to spend my Christmas that would be much cheaper, and could be great... Fingers crossed that it pans out for me. *smile* We'll see...
This weekend I am going out with some friends on their Gay Scuba Club "The Barnacle Busters" christmas lights harbor cruise for a few hours Saturday. I'm really excited as this might be just the thing to get me into the holiday spirit, and a little booze and good company is always fun. Long Beach here I come!