Gentlemen...Start your engines!

So for quite sometime, and for a long time to come I'm sure, people just don't seem to understand my love for Nascar. I can't say I blame them, as before a simple bet I too was a guy saying "It's so stupid....a bunch of cars going in a circle, how much fun can that be?" I'm here to shed a bit of light on the issue...

I love the speed. Ever since getting behind the wheel of my dad's Bronco 2 I loved to go fast. It's exciting, and terrifying at times zipping between lanes, and racing down the straight and cuvy roads at high speeds. My days of participating have come somewhat to a close since moving to LA and owning my own car, but I have some great memories of those times.

The smell of the tires, smog and smoke, all add to the manmade excitemnent of it all. It's visceral.

The sound.... so loud and thunderous. There is such a great feeling and excitement that wells inside me when that pack of 43 cars roars past at full speed and sound.

The skill.... How many of you can drive 180mph inches from another driver, around a corner, and not A.Crash B.Crawl out of your skin or C.Wet yourself? Tell me....

The sickening amount of mass marketing. It's like a sea of twitching color and pattern at these events. Disneyland on crack, but bedecking people. It's sensory overload, and of course I get to pick my favorite colors in the mix. hehehe

And last but not least...the drivers.... I'll just let you sample some of the hotties I'm talkin about....

The Earliest form of Viagra

Ode To Mardi Gras

How your simplistic take on decadence gets the boys and girls to bare all, I'll never fully understand... I do however, from time to time, see its sometimes just a simple mind.

ok, one last one....

And how many people have sung this to me in my lifetime?!

Shhhhh... Let the nostalgia continue....

Um, can you share a sweet secret with Daddy...now don't tell mommy what we did, ok Lucy?

um...practice makes perfect?

Now let's see...how many "bottom" boys out there had one of these as a kid? Don't be shy, raise your hands...

ahem.....make room for Maxie!

This just in!

"Anna Nicole is still dead..... I repeat! Anna Nicole is still dead.... Tom... any word on when we might hear more about her lifeless corpse?"

"Well Jim, its been days of standing here in a group with all the other reporters waiting to hear something or even see a simple move happen, but I believe we may be in this for the longhaul..."

"Thanks Tom... Back to you Cindy, anyone else come forward claiming paternity to the sweet child of Anna Nicole?"

"Jim, today we had a stunning admition from the Vatican stating: The pope wishes to expose his undying love for the blonde vixen, and share the details of their torrid three decade love affair.... more on this after the break, also are your children dangerous to your health? Wait and see next...!"

My B'Owl even shoots salad!

RIP

"Trimspa Baby!"

"I wanna gannanna cassssia kampo.......I wannnnnnaaaa hbbkvvk v ervbaogbvu Casida Kampo!"

Ahhhh sweet music to our ears we may never hear again.

Oh Yeah...

And, I bought my ticket to burningman '07.... It's official!

Ok, so I suck...

I have been so damn busy as of late, there just hasn't been any free time to blog let alone find anytime to laugh. It's been a rough few weeks kids.... jesus... I promise to try much harder in the coming weeks to get in a few more blog posts.

Alos, Happy frickin b-day to my good friend Mark! Glad your momma popped you out, the world would be a tough place here in Hell-A without you.

And in honor of Mark, here's a little somthing special...