Hello Jesus?...

Hi this is a message for Jesus.. Hi Jesus this is Lucy calling from "Pretty Nails"... I just wanted to confirm your nail appointment for tomorrow at 2pm. Thanks, we'll see you then...

Tis the season...

For Jesus to lip synch the hits!

Does anyone else remember how bad "Batdance" was?

You don't? Well click below and find out!

Happy Easter Photos

Ok, so there's always a devilish little part of me that enjoys saying really inappropriate things about Jesus around this time of year... I'm sure everyone's heard my Jesus Biting his nails joke by now... But now here's some fun Easter themed images to get ya started on the blasphemy!


This is a more realistic take on Jesus...

Can you see Jesus in this dog's ass?

Ok, not Easter themed but pretty damn funny...

um....Sanjaya....Dude...WTF

You sad poor little creature... God you're like a lame puppy with a nail in it's head, I want to just crush you with a rock and stop your pain.

Ok, down to business. The hair is all anyone can talk about since we obviously can't talk about the singin'! Alright, I thought you were just listening a little too hard to the sad Beautyschool Dropout stylists that work for "Idol" but now I'm thinking you are just a crazy bitch with a comb. I love the sense of "nothing to lose, so I'll be a total freak thing" you have going, but maybe you could direct it to taking vocal chances? Maybe push yourself there? The hair this week is just fuckin' crazy.... take a look at yourself babe:


What you need to do is put down the goddamned comb and pick up the scissors.... now trim...keep cutting....no don't stop there...... a little more please....ok now your wrists sweetie... (ok, that was a tad harsh...just cut your inner thigh like all the other girls your age are doing.) Now take a lesson babe, if you're gonna go wild you have to have a good source. I know you were inspired by the crazy drummer of no doubt's hair, but he's cute Sanjy.... He's a wild guy who can pull it off. You shoulda gone for the rocker look, or actually trimmed the shit to resemble Gracey here:


Now I found a picture in your stylist's notebook when she wasn't looking... If you have any self respect: Kill her! Stab the bitch with those scissors I had you pick up, and run away... Otherwise you'll be lookin' like this next week: